Thatch has discovered the hole in the back of my clothes closet. When Annabelle discovered it during her first explorations of the apartment, I told her that it was only the result of cheap construction from the 1960s, when one apartment building was joined to the apartment building next door to make one building. I warned her that if she went down it she would most likely get stuck in a crawl space between the two original buildings and we could never get her out. Since she never listens to me, she’s told Thatch it leads to the center of the earth.
So, I returned from the market this morning to find them putting new batteries into the lamps on their miner hats. Their mountain climbing ropes and backpacks were ready to go, and Annabelle was giving Thatch instructions on the descent.
Going on an expedition? I asked.
We’re going to the center of the earth, she explained, so we might be gone for a couple of days. We left you a note.
There was a yellow pad next to my computer. Annabelle’s penmanship is as bad as her spelling, and it took me a minute to decipher it: BY DAD WE R OFF 2 XPLOR.
You’re leaving me here alone?
We have no choice. You’re too big to go with us through this hole.
Did you pack enough food?
We’ll be fine. We packed sandwiches.
Turkey sandwiches! yelled Thatch, who was playing with his tail.
Stop that! Annabelle ordered him. He stopped and immediately jumped onto hers. She batted him with a paw. He ran back to his hat and gear.
You are such a baby. She tested the lamp on her hat and then put it on her head. Thatch did the very same.
It’s a long trip to the center of the earth, I said. It might take you at least a month to get there.
A month? Thatch looked unhappy.
You’ll each need at least sixty cans of food to get there and back. I don’t want you to starve on the way. Oh, and you will need snacks. You know you love your Purina Party Mix before bedtime, Annabelle. Thatch loves his Meow Mix.
Yes, it’s yummy! Thatch stated emphatically.
And then, you’ve got those ropes. It’s going to be rough climbing them with all that food weighing you down.
Annabelle? Thatch looked puzzled.
We’ll be fine, Annabelle said. Come on, Thatch. She threw the coil of rope over her shoulder and headed for the closet door.
You’re very brave to make this expedition. You’ll be the first kitties ever to explore the center of the earth. I’m quite proud of you!
Bye, Daddy! Thatch said, picking up his backpack and following her.
Annabelle, take care of your brother. Bye, Thatch! Don’t be scared.
I’m brave. I’m Ninja Cat!
Come back safe. And be careful! Watch out for the dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs? Thatch looked surprised.
Yes. Didn’t you know there are dinosaurs at the center of the earth?
I don’t like dinosaurs, Thatch told me.
Of course we knew, Annabelle said rather defiantly. We saw the movie on the SyFy channel.
I told you to stay off that channel!
It scares me, Thatch said.
It’s fun to be scared, Annabelle claimed.
I’m worried about those dinosaurs, I said. You’re both too small for a tyrannosaurus to bother, but I sure don’t want any pterodactyls or velociraptors eating my babies.
Annabelle stopped. She looked alarmed by this prospect. Thatch, who’s afraid of his own shadow, turned back.
Ptero-whar? He asked.
Yes, Thatch. They fly. They’re like huge birds. They’d think a cute little kitten was a real treat. Now, if you don’t come back, do you think I should wait three or six months to declare you dead?
Declare us dead? He looked terrified.
I’ll nave to sell your toys and CDs. It will be too painful for me to keep them; I’ll miss you so much.
Sell our toys? Annabelle sounded surprised.
I’ll have to collect your life insurance and move to another apartment because this one will be so empty without you. If you’re gone longer than six months and survive the expedition, you might come back to find I’ve moved. I don’t know how you will find me. Maybe I could leave a note with Val.
Yes, please, Annabelle said, but she sounded less confident. They huddled together. Thatch was shivering with fright.
Now, are you sure I can’t pack sixty more cans of food before you head out? It would be a shame to escape from those dinosaurs and then starve to death.
Annabelle? Thatch was waiting for her decision.
Annabelle looked at him. She looked at me, then looked back at Thatch.
Thatch? she looked at him.
Well, don’t let me stop you, I said. I know you want to get started. As soon as you’re gone, I’m going to pack up all your toys, CDs, DVDs, nurse’s cap, pith helmets, deerstalkers, and clothes, and put everything into storage.
Storage? Annabelle asked.
The thought of not seeing you for months makes me sad, really sad. I just wish you had decided to climb the Matterhorn today. Your yodeling always cheers me up.
There was a long pause, Annabelle turned and faced Thatch.
This gear is awfully heavy, Thatch.
I don’t want to be away from Daddy for months, Annabelle. I like my toys.
Well, Thatch, we could put on our lederhosen and climb the Matterhorn. She removed her hat.
And sing “So Long, Farewell?“ Thatch sounded hopeful. Or “The Lonely Goatherd?”
And when we get to the top, we could plant a flag and eat our sandwiches!
By this point, they had removed their backpacks and gear. Laughing, they ran off to the bathroom while I hanged their miner hats next to the deerstalkers.
They shortly emerged from the bathroom dressed in lederhosen and Tyrolean caps. Annabelle struck a pose and yodeled. Thatch yodeled back. They laughed and ran for their backpacks.
Okay, I lied. Their yodeling is really, really, really, annoying.
©2018, Larry Moore
Annabelle & Thatch 