Annabelle had been behaving oddly for the past two days, so I knew she was up to something. As I poured my first cup of coffee, I wondered what it was. I knew that she was excited that Halloween was coming soon. She and Thatch had been chattering about what they would wear when they went trick or treat-ing around the building and what they should dress Stella as.
Well, did you ask her? I asked them. Stella does communicate with you two, even if she won’t speak English-
She can, you know, Annabelle interjected.
Yes, Missy, I know she can. So, did you ask her what she wanted to dress as?
We did, Thatch said. She seems happier to dress however we want to costume her.
Well, as I remember, I said, last year Annabelle went as a witch.
I am Elphaba, Annabelle announced. When I play the role, people will forget Idina.
Yes, Missy, and Stella went as your black cat.
And I went as Daddy! Thatch yelled happily.
And Stella ate all the kibble we collected, Annabelle interjected. Let me tell you, she’s not doing that this year.
So, as I spooned the creamer into the hot water, I thought, is she preoccupied with her costume? As I added the instant coffee, I chuckled to myself at Thatch’s costume as me: a “Cats Against Trump” T-shirt and a pair of shorts. He’s such a smart and sassy little boy.
I was still smiling as I walked past the chest that stood across from the computer table. Thatch lay sleeping on his cardboard carton on top of it. As I passed him, I stroked his head and scratched his ears, thinking how much I loved this little boy. I set my cup down and ran my hand down his back as he stretched and purred.
He opened his eyes. Hi, Daddy.
I love you, baby, I told him.
Why do you call me a baby? I’m not a baby any more. Stella’s the baby.
Uh, I had to pause to think about that, well, Thatch Cat, I guess it’s because she’s so big. She may be half your age, but she’s twice your size.
She’s still the baby, not me.
Well, you’re my little boy, but you’re always going to be my baby, Thatcher. Always and always. You’ll have to live with that.
Hmmm. . . . he purred and closed his eyes.
I picked up my cup and set it down on the computer table. I carefully sat down and opened my email and checked out what fresh hell awaited me. Stella came by and reached up to the table, hoping that, if there were food, she might beg for a bit.
No, Stella, I told her, there’s nothing here, little beggar. Sorry.
She dropped to the floor and returned to the three half-eaten dishes of tuna. She carefully examined the contents of each dish before nibbling from each of them.
I answered a few emails before I finished the coffee and stood up. As I turned to the kitchen, I looked at Thatch, who was watching me and not sleeping. As soon as I approached him, he turned onto his back exposing his tummy and stretched out.
You want my attention, huh? I laughed. You little flirt! I set the cup down, and tickled him under his chin, then stroked his neck, and moved my hand down his belly to his back legs, tickling him as I did, and he giggled in delight. You little devil! You are such a flirt. Do you like that?
More, he giggled.
As I scratched his chin, the intercom rang. I picked up the receiver. Hello? I asked.
Amazon, a woman’s voice said.
Amazon? I thought. I wasn’t expecting anything. Are you sure? For 3C?
Yessir, the voice replied/
Okay. Come on in. I pressed the button to let her into the building. I looked at the clock. It was 8:15. I turned and grabbed my cane off the back of my computer chair then carefully stepped to the door. I opened it and watched the elevator. Annabelle stepped up beside me.
Who is it? she asked.
Amazon.
They’re early.
So, Missy! You’re behind this?
The elevator door opened and a young lady wearing a mask and carrying one Amazon Fresh carton stepped off.
Apartment 3-C? I asked.
Yessir, she responded as she walked to me.
Just set it down here, dear. I’ll bring it inside in a moment. She set the carton down on my doormat. Thank you so much.
You’re welcome, sir. She turned back to the elevator and I stepped back inside and closed the door.
Okay, Annabelle, what’s going on?
It’s for our Halloween haunted house.
Haunted house?
Yes, Thatch yelled from the dresser, our haunted house!
Thatch, Stella, and me, we want to make a haunted house to scare the neighbors when they come to visit.
Nobody comes to visit, Annabelle, I told her. You know that.
They will now, just to see the haunted house. I’m calling it “Annabelle’s House of Horrors.” It will be a thrilling experience.
Oh, Jesus Christ, I thought, what can be terrifying in an Amazon Fresh delivery? Okay, I said, let’s see what Amazon Fresh brought us.
I opened the door and reached for the handle on the carton. It was surprisingly heavy. I dragged the carton into the hall between the kitchen and bathroom and opened the sealed carton. It was filled with cucumbers!
Cucumbers? I asked.
You forgot to order the balloons! Thatch exclaimed,
Oh, no! Annabelle said. Well, there’s still time to order them.
Balloons? I asked. What the hell, Annabelle? What do I do with all these cucumbers?
There should be fifty, she answered. Would you count them? Please?
She moved around the carton to a point where she could not watch me remove the cucumbers.
I got a clean bath towel from the bathroom and set it on the floor next to the carton. Then I sat on the floor and took the cucumbers, one by one, out of the carton and set them on the towel as I counted them. As soon as the carton was empty, Annabelle jumped into the carton, and Thatch jumped off the dresser and ran to look into the carton.
I declare this carton my new bedroom, she loudly announced. Are there fifty?
Yes, Annabelle, there are fifty cucumbers sitting here. They’re for your haunted house? What are you going to do with these in a haunted house?
I picked one up and pointed it at her. She screamed, leaped out of the carton and ran into the bathroom. Thatch? I pointed the cucumber at him, and he ran screaming across the room to the window. I pulled myself off the floor and walked to my bed, where a sleeping Stella lay stretched out on her back.
Stella, baby? I asked. She opened her eyes, saw the cucumber in my hand and leaped straight into the air. With a pitiful little shriek, she jumped from the bed and joined Thatch on the windowsill.
We’re not coming down till you put that away, Thatch called.
Okay! Okay! I asked. What’s with the cucumber fits?
We’re afraid of cucumbers! Annabelle called from the bathroom.
Yes! Thatch yelled from the windowsill. Put them away!
I walked back to the pile of cucumbers on the kitchen floor. You mean to tell me you think these cucumbers will terrify the neighbors? What were you going to do with them?
We were going to put them all over the apartment, Annabelle explained, and watch the neighbors scream in fright when they came in to see my house of horrors.
My head hurts, Annabelle, I moaned. Humans are not frightened by cucumbers.
They’re not? Cats are!
Well, as the boss, I think that Annabelle’s House of Horrors should be closed. For good.
No! Annabelle and Thatch yelled.
Oh, yes, I told them. Look, babies, if you’re afraid of a cucumber, how did you plan to put them around the apartment?
That was your job, Annabelle said, while we prepared the other scary things.
What are those? Should I expect another delivery?
No. I was going to hang pictures of water and dogs. They’re scary, aren’t they?
Realizing that Annabelle’s haunted house would be the laughing stock of the Upper West Side and one more of many humiliations in my life, I decided to shut it down.
Well, I hate to disappoint you, but Annabelle’s House of Horrors is dead. It isn’t going to happen.
I hate it when he plays boss, Thatch told Stella.
You’re spoiling our Halloween, Annabelle pouted.
I don’t mean to, Annabelle. I’m sorry. I think you should devote the time you planned on your haunted house to think up your trick or treat costumes. I expect they will be stunning this year!
Oh, what a good idea! she said. Thatch! Stella! Come out of the window. We must think about our costumes. We can plan in our office. She headed toward the linen closet and Thatch and Stella ran after her.
Hey, wait! Annabelle! Annabelle!
She turned back to me. Yes, Daddy?
What the fat hell do I do with all these damned cucumbers?
Don’t put them back in the carton, Annabelle yelled. That’s my new bedroom!
©2021, Larry Moore
Annabelle & Thatch 