Annabelle’s scream could be heard all over the apartment. I was on the bathroom floor playing with a tray of dirty litter as I cleaned up their daily waste.
Annabelle? I called. What’s wrong?
There was silence. A good minute of silence before I could hear her sobs. God, I thought, what’s happened now?
Thatch ran into the bathroom, Daddy? he asked, can you come quick?
What’s happened, Thatch?
Annabelle just passed out, I think. Please come?
Oh, Jesus, I thought, what has happened? Instead, I said, Just a minute. It will only take me a minute to finish up this mess.
I poured the dirty litter into the plastic garbage bag and tied the handles shut. Thatch was pacing frantically at my feet as I stood up.
C’mon, c’mon, hurry, hurry! he was yelling at me.
Okay! okay! let’s go. Where’s Annabelle?
At the computer! C’mon, c’mon!
I walked into the living area to find Annabelle stretched out on my keyboard weeping as she pounded the keyboard with her paw and screamed, No, no, no!
I looked at the computer screen which read “Street Cat Named Bob died after being hit by a car.” I reached for her, and she jumped into my arms and sobbed against my neck. I can’t believe it! she wailed. I loved Bob so much.
Aw, Missy, I stroked her back. I’m so sorry. I thought you knew. I was sure I told you. It happened two years ago.
I’m a complete liar. I was too afraid to tell her when I read the news in June 2020. She had an enormous crush on Bob, and her washtub in the bathroom was covered in photos of him. I don’t know which is worse, protecting your children from the harsher realities of life or telling them the rotten truth. It’s even worse when your children are cats who have a completely different set of values and spin on reality.
She stopped weeping and pulled back to look at me. No, you never told me, she said.
Damn, I thought, now she’s pissed. Instead, I said, It was during the early part of the pandemic and I had just had my surgery. I must have forgotten. I’m so sorry, Missy.
Well, I wanted to marry Bob and star in movies with him. This is such sad news. My heart is broken.
I still love you, Annabelle, Thatch called from the floor next to my computer chair. Stella loves you, too!
Thank you, Thatch, she sobbed. I loved Bob so much. We were going to be the Lunt and Fontanne of movies. At least, I thought we were.
Who? Thatch asked.
Lunt and Fontanne, stupid, she snapped at him. They were a famous married couple who were big stars.
Oh, Thatch said. Well, I didn’t know. He began to cry.
Annabelle, I’ve got to set you down, I told her. Will you be all right?
I hope so, Daddy! I loved Bob so much.
I’m sorry, Missy. Here, let me set you down. I need to talk to Thatch. I think we should close this page about Bob while you mourn.
I set her back on the computer table and closed the computer page. We were back to Google, and I typed into the keyboard “Annabelle & Thatch” so she could look at pictures of herself. Vanity can be a great antidote to grief.
C’mon, Thatcher Patcher Batcher Snatcher Catcher, I said as I picked him up. Let’s have a nice chat while Annabelle grieves. Poor Missy Belle!
I carried Thatch into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bathtub while I held him.
Why is she so mean, Daddy? he asked me.
Because she’s angry Bob is dead and she was taking her hurt out on you.
I didn’t do anything to her.
I know, baby. Don’t let her upset you. Listen, when we get angry sometimes, and we cannot direct our anger to its source, it’s easy to lash out at others. Do you understand that?
No.
Well, I know you love Annabelle and she loves you. Remember that always. We must be kind to her today because of her unhappiness. When someone leaves us-
Why are they leaving?
Well, for various reasons. Sometimes it’s a broken romance or friendship, sometimes it’s a move to another area, sometimes it’s death, and I suppose there are other reasons as well. I’m at the age now where too many friends are dying and leaving me, but the worst is the ones who vanish and you never know what’s become of them.
Why?
Because they are the ones that got away, whether they were a good friend or someone you once loved. That doesn’t mean you don’t stop caring about them or wondering how they are.
Do you have any that got away?
More than I’d like, Thatcher.
I had been haunted by a dream from several weeks ago in whichI was working on a show at Goodspeed, and a friend I’d met there in 1998 was in it. I awoke thinking, why did Brad Johnson appear in it? Am I getting some vibe from the universe? Am I having a psychic communication? I hadn’t seen him since I ran into him on West 28th Street in 1999. I was on my way to the Rodgers & Hammerstein Organization, and it was a brief chance meeting. He told me that he was leaving New York, and we swore to keep in touch. It was now twenty-three years after that, I had lost contact with him ages ago and I had tried several times through computer searches to locate him. Several letters marked “address unknown” from various parts of the country sat in a pile of mail on my worktable. I had finally given up trying to find him when this dream had occurred, and now I was driven to track him down.
Sadly, he was a friend who had disappeared, but there were former boyfriends who had vanished, and I wondered if they were alive, okay, healthy, or comfortable. I had no urge to rekindle a broken romance, but I did want to know how they were.
Are you going to tell me about them? Thatch asked.
I snapped out of my thoughts. Uh, no, Thatch; it’s all too complicated and I’m tired of sitting on the bathtub. Annabelle is sad because death is final: they’re gone, and you know you will never be able to see them again or repair things –
Like what?
Uh, well, if it’s a personal issue that caused the breakup, I suppose it’s apologies for the initial cause of the break, clearing the debris – you know, whatever rubble was left behind . . . ah, you know-
I don’t know, Thatch said. I could tell I was not making sense to him.
Well, just remember, Annabelle is hurting over Bob’s death, so let’s try to cheer her up.
We walked back into the living area. Annabelle had turned on iTunes, and she was singing “The Man That Got Away” with Judy.
Why do I bother? I thought. She’ll be fine.
©2022, Larry Moore
Annabelle & Thatch 