66. IN THE BATH REDUX

I settled into the warm bath, relaxed, and sank into the water, leaving only my face above the surface.  I closed my eyes and thought, I really needed this.  I opened my eyes.  Instead of looking at the ceiling, I was looking into the face of Annabelle, who leaned over the tub.

Daddy?

I sat up.  Annabelle?  What do you need?

Have you ever had eczema?

No.

Oh.  Well, thank you.

She turned and left the room.  I leaned back and settled into the warmth.  I closed my eyes and shuddered at the pleasure of the water.  Just right, I thought.  After a moment I grabbed the soap and washed my face.  I rinsed with the washcloth.  I opened my eyes.  Annabelle looked at me seriously.

Daddy?

Annabelle!  I sat up.  What’s wrong, Missy?

Did you ever have migraines?

No, just an occasional headache, mostly during pollen season.

Okay.  Thank you.

She ran out of the bathroom.  I noticed the water was cooling, so I turned on the hot water tap and relaxed.  I was enjoying the sounds of the running water I heard through my submerged ears.  When it was really warm, I sat up, turned off the water, and soaped up my armpits.  Then I grabbed the shampoo bottle and began to wash my hair.

Daddy?

I turned.  Annabelle sat on the edge of the tub.

Annabelle?  What’s going on?

Have you ever had Crohn’s Disease?

Never.  Some gas, food poisoning . . . but not that.

Okay.

As I watched her leave the bathroom, I thought, this bath went to hell.  What are those rascals up to?  I’d better rinse and get out before all hell breaks loose.

When I finished rinsing my armpits, Annabelle leaped onto the edge of the tub.  She was aglow with inspiration.

Daddy!

Yes, Missy?  Now what?

Have you ever had HIV?

No, never.  Thank God!  What’s going on?  Why are you asking me all these questions about my health?

Thatch and I were watching the court shows.

I know.  You like the cases where pet owners fight each other.

They’re the best!

And Stella?  What’s she doing?

She’s sleeping on your bed.  We’re watching the TV in our office.

In the linen closet?

Yes. 

It’s awfully late for the court shows.

They’re on our DVR.

Ah.  Okay.  Let me get out of the tub.

I rinsed my hair, sat up and reached for the towel.  Annabelle jumped off the edge of the tub while I stood up to dry myself.

So?  Why are you asking about my health?

Well, there are all these commercials for eczema, migraines, HIV . . .

Among others.  They advertise drugs and products for diseases I’ve never heard of.  What the heck is bladder leak?

I don’t know.

That’s two of us, Annabelle.  Where did I put my shorts?

On the doorknob.

Thank you, Missy.

Annabelle watched the water run out while I put on my boxers.

All right, my bath is a thing of the past.  Let’s get out of here.  

We walked into the living area.  Stella sat up when I sat down on the edge of the bed. She wandered over to my side.

Thatch, Annabelle called, he’s out of the bath!

So, Annabelle, why this interest in these commercials and my health?

Well, all the people in those commercials have so much fun:  there are parties with cakes and tiaras, marching bands, sail boats, walks in the woods, fighting pirates, building play houses, world travel . . .

And?

Your life is dull! 

Dull?

It is dull, Thatch added.

Totally! Annabelle stated.  You just sit around and do very little, but think of all the fun you would have if you had one of these health issues! 

We want to have all this fun with you, Thatch explained, but we can’t if you’re healthy! 

Can’t you at least have eczema for us? Annabelle asked.

Or psoriasis? Thatch asked.

Please? Annabelle asked.

Oh, God, I thought, as I fell back on the bed. 

Stella jumped on my bare foot and bit my toe.

©2020, Larry Moore